I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
