I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
