Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize