well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
