I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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