Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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