I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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