We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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