he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Randomize
