I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Randomize
