Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
