So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize