My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
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I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
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Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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