the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
