She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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