sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
