ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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