News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize