I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
