it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize