peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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