I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
