I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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