can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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