Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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