God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
