Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
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