when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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