i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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