Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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