He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
