She's like a pop up book from hell.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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