at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
