Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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