...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
