She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Randomize
