Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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