come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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