He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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