we made out on top of his cat.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize