ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
