Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
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Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
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A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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