$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
