You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
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