He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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