What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
