it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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