I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You took a bar mat shot.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
