Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
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We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
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so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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