I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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