I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I can't put those talents on a resume
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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