he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
