no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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