SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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