Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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